Yesterday I was pretty knocked out.
For the last six weeks, I have been enrolled at a course on database design and php programming at New York University.
The course normally requires twelve weeks, but it was offered as a summer intensive for six weeks.
I really did my best to juggle studying and what I have been practicing for career development, which has essentially been the web sites that I have been building and marketing for friends and family, especially for volunteer/charity causes.
I think I did pretty well up until last week when I was literally spending eight or more hours a day studying for the final exam.
I reviewed and reviewed and the test was definitely a disappointment.
It included material that we were just taught on that day, two questions on database connection and how many requests a browser actually sends to a server depending on the http request packet.
Besides that, there were a considerable amount of questions using hypothetical tables for which to build SQL requests that would return the correct results.
Last, the test was supposedly for one hour and fifteen minutes and the Professor ended the test at an hour.
Hmm, that was a bit bizzare.
But, in any case, I think I did pretty well on the questions that I did have time to answer.
The reason that I am writing about it here is because the almost singular focus on this test pretty much took all of my time and kept me away from doing just about anything else.
As much as I am satisfied that I did well on the test, I am dissatisfied with my inability to get organized enough that I can make progress in multiple areas of my life even during a test period, and of course that could apply to other times of stress as well.
So, I am starting off this week with taking a look at how to get organized and keep multiple balls juggling in the air at the same time.
For a single guy, living in a single room without daily contact from even a single member of my immediate family, I cannot really figure out why it is so daunting of a task to stay organized.
Perhaps it is just the mere fact of whatever has been in motion for the last ten years, stays in motion, just like this, or perhaps I was never organized?
See, I do not believe that because I definitely had more on my plate at various times, but I do have to concede that despite my thinking I was so organized, apparently I was not, otherwise I would probably not be in the situation that I am today.
If you ask me if I feel a bit scattered, ya!
But, I want to focus and I do not want to fall too deep into the hole of despair, so , the question is how to get organized and take care of myself and what I have to address on my plate.
The truth is that right now, it is pretty peaceful in my apartment, it is quiet, it is raining outside in New York City and it is about as comfortable as I could hope for at this moment.
What do I have to do to make progress on all fronts?
The translation and interpretation of verse 13, 14 and 15 from Psalms 34 is mine, so you know who is accountable.
יג מִי-הָאִישׁ, הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים; אֹהֵב יָמִים, לִרְאוֹת טוֹב. Who is the man, who desires life? Who loves days, to see good?
יד נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע; וּשְׂפָתֶיךָ, מִדַּבֵּר מִרְמָה. Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceptively.
טו סוּר מֵרָע, וַעֲשֵׂה-טוֹב; בַּקֵּשׁ שָׁלוֹם וְרָדְפֵהוּ. Turn away from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.
The above three verses are from Tehillim aka in English, Psalms 34.
One of these days, I will have to write more about my drifting away from Fundamentalist Judaism, but I will clearly never get around to it if I do not get more organized.
Nevertheless, I still turn to the Psalms many times for motivation and inspiration.
I cannot find the same spark when reading them in English, nor the translation or interpretation in English, it just feels a lot better in the original Hebrew written by King David over 3,000 years ago.
So, the main point that I want to bring out here is that before ‘doing good', it is necessary to turn away from ‘evil' or as I would interpret, any distractions that are holding us back from achieving the good that we want to accomplish in life.
Therefore, the first place to focus is on what is distracting us from our goals. For some people, it is the news, tv, depression, inability to focus, laziness and murkiness of what the goals actually are.
Now, for a guy struggling with depression, I am going to make a very bold, perhaps absurd, goal list with the number one goal seeming to be as likely as me becoming President in 2012, but if I could achieve it, it would probably be one of the biggest accomplishments in my life.
1. Elate, Be happy. huh?
Do I even know what that feels like?
Yes, I do to a certain extent.
But what I mean here is to shift from the usual miasma of sulk to a more grateful state…so the doing good here would be practicing the thoughts and feelings of being grateful and turning away, just turning off the path of sulking.
Easier said than done, but that is my goal.
What is the point of achieving anything else on the goal list and being miserable while doing it?
That doesn't make much sense, so the first order of the day is to have as much fun, as much hope, optimism, confidence and gratitude as possible.
2. Eat healthy.
4. Sleep early and long.
5. Clean house.
Organize and address all outstanding bills.
Make my home as comfortable as possible.
6. Work at career development which means all of the fields that I have to become competent in to be successful.
7. Chase after peace, to me that means to take an active forward role in doing whatever I can to maintain good relations with friends and family.
I believe that I have made the efforts with my immediate family, I have pursued it, I have called, emailed, texted, sent letters, notes, cards, gifts and the continual silence just tells me that in this case, after having made so many overtures, all I can do now is to make peace with myself and wait till my family moves towards me.
Peace is not a unilateral decision.
The above would create art in my life, how about yourself, how do you stay organized?
That is all for now, I will let you know how it is going, have to get moving now to do some of the above!
How to get organized ?
Zehhu, that is all I have to say about it for now.
Please add your comments, thanks!