Rebuild Your Life After Divorce – Introduction
Is it possible to rebuild your life after divorce?
And if yes, how do you start, what can you do to move on and heal?
You might feel isolated after divorce, alone, and confused about how to deal with the mental pain and suffering.
Instead of living in your home, you might find yourself in a 300 square foot apartment.
Instead of hearing the sounds of your children’s feet scampering up the stairs, you hear silence.
Screaming, shouting silence all day and all night.
You do not know how to survive.
At that time, I never believed that I could have a better life, any life at all.
My sense of loss was a more bottomless chasm than the Grand Canyon.
Have you felt that type of despair and isolation?
You might have similar feelings.
Here are some ways to rebuild your life after divorce.
How to Fix a Broken Hearth | Psychologist Guy Winch
Step 1. Start Walking
When you are given your walking papers, start walking for real.
Walk at least 10,000 steps a day.
10k steps are about 5 miles of walking, which translates into about an hour of walking every day.
Shoot for a minimum of 30 minutes.
Walking will loosen the burdens of your mind.
You will see the sky, trees, a world around you that is much bigger than your problems.
The fresh air will make you feel better.
You will sleep better.
Divorce is a massive stress on your body.
And your body does not deserve it.
Take care of yourself.
Your new habit of walking 30 – 60 minutes a day will be the foundation for rebuilding your life because every good practice is going to develop into more powerful ways to turn your life around.
Jake Walks 3,000 miles to combat depression
Step 2. Push Back With Push-Ups
Are you pushed Out Of Your Own Life?
Do you feel as if you are no longer part of your family portrait?
Your children do not live with you, or worse, you might feel the nightmare of estrangement setting in.
Your home is no longer your home because the court forced you to leave your house.
Whether you live in your car, a garage, or your friend’s basement, you have to start pushing back to recover.
What is the most straightforward exercise you can do in a small space?
Start doing push-ups!
Push yourself, so even if you can only do one, do one push up.
Do push-ups 10 minutes a day while you are watching tv or when you have a break.
Most likely, you have more time on your hand after divorce.
You lost your sense of identity, and sometimes it feels like you do not exist.
Push-ups and getting stronger will undo those feelings and help boost your confidence.
As the Roman poet Juvenal said in Satire X, Orandum est ut sit Mens Sana in Corpore Sano:
You should pray for a healthy mind in a healthy body.
Can you do 100 push-ups today?
If not, start working on it till you can do 100 push-ups in ten minutes.
But, don’t sacrifice quality over quantity.
Instead, focus on perfect form push-ups with a full range of motion to gain the most powerful benefits of push-ups.
The Real Reason Chef Andre Rush Does 2,222 Pushups Every Day
Step 3. Boost Your Mood
To recover from divorce, you have to start building up your physical and mental strength.
Lift weights to lift your mood.
Do the hardest compound movements that you can.
For example, if you are capable of doing deadlifts and squats, great.
For example, you can start with:
- bodyweight exercises like calisthenics, or
- weight training like a powerlifting or powerbuilding program
The physical strength is going to help you bear the mental burdens of divorce and loss.
Step 4. Say Thank You
Doesn’t saying thank you sound counterintuitive?
Why say thank you?
You are suffering and in tremendous mental pain.
But, you want to find something in your life to be grateful for, whether it is to thank your lucky stars, nature, or your higher power.
There must be something in your life that is still working.
It might be your job, your physical body, your friends, your family.
Just say, thank you.
Find the blessings in your life.
Because if you can find one, you can find more, which will decrease the profound loss of divorce.
Saying thank you for good in your life is a powerful way to rebuild your life after divorce or separation.
Step 5. Write a Blockbuster Script
Become a writer of a hit movie, about your own life.
Right now, you might feel lost and hopeless.
That is not how you want the film of your life to turn out.
You are the star and hero of your movie.
But now, you have to become proactive and start writing.
Start a blog, get a notebook or a journal, and start describing the life you want to have going forward.
As you write, you will get new ideas about what you can do to improve your situation.
Your new goals will give you relief from obsessing over your divorce.
And your new script can inspire you to action.
Have you not cried and mourned long enough, or told your story enough times to anyone who would listen?
And whether you know it or not, soon, they will stop listening.
There is only so much that people can bear.
Stop talking about your woes and start writing in your journal or your new blog about a new future and life.
A new life that you will paint into existence with your words.
Rebuild Your Life – Final Thoughts
I thought there was no life after divorce, and that I could never survive, let alone create a new life experience.
Your life will be different for a long time, most likely forever, that is for sure.
But you do not have to stay mired in grief for years, or even worse, decades.
While I am still a work in progress, these five habits helped me create a new life after divorce.
A much better life.
I hope these five simple habits can be of help to rebuild your life after divorce or separation.
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