13 Disastrous Ways How Your Depression Affects Others

#3. Stop Repeating the Same Old Story Now or Regret Later

Do you think no one cares about you if they do not listen to the same old story?

What do they have to do?

Sit while you hold court and repeat the story you told him or her 5, 10, or 15 years ago.

When does it end?

Of course, we are not talking about a story that happened today or even a month ago.

Some events will remain etched in your mind for longer than a small grievance or annoyance.

But you must think about the consequences of repeatedly regurgitating the same complaints.

While your depression and anxiety are not something that you can easily control, you still must do something about what you say and how you appear in order not to ruin everyone else’s life.

Depression is not only about you, start thinking about the people around you, and find a way to get help.

Stop repeating your story of woe, and instead:

• get moving, and
• lift weights to boost your mood

If you stop repeating your story of woe, you will likely save your relationships with those around you.

Henry Rollins on How Weightlifting Changed His Life

#4. Stop Thinking That You Own Your Body and Can Abuse It As Much As You Want

You cannot starve or overfeed your body and get away with it.

So, from this point forward, no matter what your story is, it is time to stop abusing your body.

Make peace now with your body.

And make an end to self-injury.

Start taking care of yourself.

• Get to sleep at a reasonable hour, 
• Get up, take a shower, and get dressed, 
• Eat real food, 
• Give your body a steady diet of squats, deadlifts, bench presses, and calisthenics exercises like pushups
• You will feel great and can start asking people how they feel for a change!

It is not all about you, and it never will be.

The day you figure that out is the day you will start to see new people come into your life; that is the day you can begin to build a new life on top of the pit of depression where you are now.

The Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise

#5. If You are Stubborn, do You Think You Will Only Lose Your Friends?

Until now, maybe you think that if you lose your friends, so be it; perhaps you will meet some new ones who care more about you.

You may think that when it comes to you, though, your family members will never abandon you; they will always have your back, and they will never become estranged.

Is that what you are thinking?

Well, think again.

You might lose your partner in life and even damage your relationship with your children.

This is one of the worst ways how your depression affects others, even those who once loved you, might not be able to handle your constant sorrow.

#6. Depression will Kill Your Career When Your Depression Becomes Your Number One Love

Health is your priority.

You have to stay healthy, and depression is not healthy, so you have to address your depression.

So what do you do when you are depressed and you still happen to have a job? 

If you keep stewing in your depression to the point that you cannot think of anything besides your depression, then you are going to betray your job because you cannot focus on your career.

Many people with depression turn to alcohol or drugs to alleviate their mental pain.

But you know the outcome of substance abuse, and if you lose your job, you will see how wrong you were.

When you experience depression frequently, you might need medications or hospitalization, but whatever it is, do not lose your job.

You need that job for more than the paycheck; you need to maintain dignity and self-respect, which you will lose if you end up without your career. 

To keep your job, stop talking about your depression, stick it in a hidden compartment of your mind, lock the door, throw away the key, and focus on something else like your health, family, friends, and career.

#7. You will Enter Catatonic Depression if You Do Not Get Up and Start moving.

You want to sit around like a zombie and not only lose your family and career, but now you cannot even make an egg?

Stand up and move, walk, swim, do something productive.

Stop falling into the quicksand of your own depression stories; no one else wants to see the movie, and they certainly will not pay for it with money or time, and neither should you.

#8. So Now You Would Rather Die than Live in Depression?

Anyone who has significant depression can understand how much relief you might have if you did not have to face the images and words that your mind feeds you nonstop, that narrative that keeps you in your depression.

There comes a point when you might not be able to handle living in total solitude, with no family, no job, and few to speak to.

Even the doormen will stop listening to that story of woe is me.

So what are you going to do?

You have no one to share your story with, and you might even be tired of telling the same story to your shrink of the last 10, 20, or 30 years.

Couple this incredible isolation of depression with the potential side effects of medications, and you have a recipe for suicidal thoughts and catastrophic consequences. 

Take the film out of the projector, your film of depression, your story of depression, and change the narrative.

Stop beating yourself up; do you think you are perfect and cannot make mistakes?

Well, you did.

You made some mistakes, some small, some bigger.

Isn’t it time to admit that you are just human?

Stop the insanity, change the narrative, start telling yourself the new story of your future self and who you will be when you Cross the Bridge from Depression to a New Life.

#9. You are Not Going to Get an Oscar for Most Dramatic Performance.

Do you think the people around you want to watch the Oscars more than once a year?

You have to pretend that you are not depressed; otherwise, you will be setting yourself up to receive the most dramatic performance award.

The only problem is that no one who knows you wants to see your epic film.

They are mainly interested in their own stories, not the ones you tell as rationales for why you feel the way you do and why you can no longer function as they do.

#10. Are You Guilty?

Did you murder someone?

What is your crime?

You know that even in prisons, real criminals have visitors.

You have put yourself in your prison, and you do not want to give yourself some slack?

Perhaps you did not live up to the high standards that you set for yourself and maybe others as well, so you are just going to torture yourself and anyone around you.

What if you take the guilt and drown the guilt and do not drown yourself?

Guilt is a guide to better behavior, not a guillotine by which to kill yourself.

#11. Is Your Mirror Speaking to You?

It might be time to stop your antidepressants!

I remember when I was a regular user of Zoloft, Effexor, Prozac, Risperdal, and Neurontin, among many others. 

• Are you waking up in pools of water? 
• Are you sweating a lot at night? 
• Can you find your keys but don’t know where you parked your car? 
• Have you lost any feeling in any of your body parts or extremities
• Do you wonder who Duane Reade is (a New York City joke!)? 

By the time your mirror starts talking to you, questioning where you are going whenever you walk by, it is time to accept that you have treatment-resistant depression and you must get off of your medications.

Talk it over with your doctor.

Seeing your reflection in the mirror speaking to you whenever you walk by, and look is not a good sign.

#12. For Everything You Are Sure About, Ask If It Is Accurate

You say that you are a monster – is that accurate?

Are you the worst person who ever lived – is that true?

You say that you are the fattest and ugliest person on the planet – is that right?

Is it true that you do not deserve to live a good life or live at all?

Start to challenge yourself every time you assume that you know the truth.

You do not.

I am sure you are not as accurate as you think.

You know that out of the 7 billion people on the planet, there is a good chance that you are at least not as bad as some others.

Stop lying to yourself and others; get accurate!

#13. Do You Think That Depression Will Attract People Towards You, to Help You, to Comfort You?

I told you that you are not thinking carefully.

Is that what you want to do with your time?

Do you want to sit and listen to someone with nothing positive to say?

Do you want to mourn before someone dead is in front of you?

Would you rather talk about your troubled past than go to the beach or think about an exciting future?

Are you afraid that you will end up alone?

Well, you are right.

You will sit alone in your room and languish.

You may spend some time on the Internet, watch TV, or go to a game, but you will surely be alone.

True, there are millions of people out there who are living in depression, but why would you want to be like them?

Yes, I understand that you cannot control depression; that is why I gave you these 13 ways that depression will Destroy Your Life and Anyone Else in Your Path and how to save yourself and them from the carnage.

How Your Depression Affects Others – Wrapping up

I wish someone had sat me down over a decade ago and chewed me out enough that I could start thinking straight.

I know how difficult it is to focus when you are on antidepressants that affect your brain.

If you know someone, you or someone else, who needs to hear how you can save yourself or them, then share it, but do not share it with someone you think cannot handle it.

Depression will ruin everything in your life or their life, it is a nightmarish pit that is hard to escape once you slip into it, there is no water there to drink, no way to get refreshed, so this is no time to be pulling punches, just be as accurate and real as possible.

I am not a medical professional, just hoping that maybe my words might pierce the shell of your depression that currently envelops you and help you rebuild your life now and not later.

I hope that someone out there can cross the bridge from the state of living in depression to the state of a new life.

Professional Resources

If you need information on depression or want to talk about your depression, you can call the SAMSHA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at any time of the day.

Their national number is 1-800-662-HELP (4357), and all calls are free of charge.

If you don’t like talking on the phone, there are forums and support groups like the Reddit boards r/depression and r/anxiety, which have active communities of people with depression who may be working through an illness similar to yours.

For more information on depression, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has up-to-date research on the warning signs and symptoms of depression and other mental disorders, such as;

• loss of interest,
• irregular sleep, and
• suicidal thoughts,

and other depressive symptoms.

What’s Next

You do not necessarily need a social worker or psychologist to help you deal with depression.

And you do not need antidepressants.

Antidepressants can help some people but do not help everyone, and sometimes do more harm than good and can double your risk of suicidal thoughts.

So what can you do?

Try the New New SIGECAPS Mnemonic: A Guide to Help Major Depressive Disorder.

It helps me, perhaps it can help you too!

The good news is that you can use the New SIGECAPS to help manage depression without resorting to medications.

Foundational lifestyle changes can improve your immune system and change your body and mind.

For example;

• Eat real food instead of processed food
• Get active, walking, running, treadmill, rucking, calisthenics, or indoor rowing
• Stop the scourge of sitting disease
• Strength training compound movements like squats, deadlifts, bench presses, and pushups will work wonders for your mind and body, especially for young adults struggling with depression.

Older men and women may think they can never do squats and deadlifts, but that is wrong.

81-year-old Shirley Webb demonstrates how she regained mobility with the deadlift.

Please see the New SIGECAPS Mnemonic: A Guide to Help Major Depressive Disorder for more details.

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