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39 Best Deadlift Tips For Beginners

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The Greatest Deadlift Tips for Beginners

These deadlift tips will help you not make the same mistakes I have in my pursuit of deadlifting. I have scraped my shins up, hurt my lower back, got tennis elbow and strained my hamstrings just so you do not have to make the same deadlifting mistakes.

These are the most important deadlift tips I have learned over the last six years. Many of my injuries because of listening to gym ‘experts’ could have been avoided. Every injury cost more time away from the deadlift. So always use lighter weight to perfect your deadlift form, and then gradually add weight as you get stronger.

  1. I have learned that it is real important to keep your feet fairly narrow. Think of the stance you would take to jump as high as possible.
  2. This jump stance is how wide you want your feet to be, so you can exert maximum force against the floor.
  3. Narrower than shoulder width or just shoulder width so that you have room for your arms at your side.
  4. You must wear proper deadlift shoes, which are as flat, close to the ground and as stable as possible.
  5. Do NOT wear normal gym or running shoes which have a flexible compressive rubber sole.
  6. You do not want your foot to be shifting around, you need absolute firm and stable support.
  7. Eye up the barbell over your instep, smack in the middle of the foot.
  8. A good cue is that you should see the barbell directly over the laces of your deadlift shoes.
  9. For this reason, it is better to wear shorts with deadlift socks than long deadlift pants.
  10. If you lift with proper deadlift form, you will not be afraid of scraping your shins doing deadlifts.
  11. A good pair of deadlift socks is adequate shin protection.
  12. Bend down to the bar by first pushing your hips back, and then lowering your arms to the barbell.
  13. Do not squat down, keep your hips up, remember, the deadlift is not a squat.
  14. Take a firm tight grip on the barbell with your arms just outside of your legs.
  15. Keep your elbows straight and locked. Do not bend your elbows.
  16. You do not lift the bar with your arms, your arms are like hooks stabilizing the barbell.
  17. Raise your chest, this will flatten your back. Keep your back as straight and tight as possible.
  18. You must keep your back neutral. You must never leave your back rounded or loose.
  19. Your entire core should be tight before you start lifting the weight.
  20. Tighten your core by taking a deep breath and holding it. When the weight you lift increases, use a weight lifting belt.
  21. Start the deadlift by pushing your feet against the floor.
  22. Think leg press, a vertical leg press. The same way that you do a leg press, push the floor with your feet to start the deadlift.
  23. Keep the barbell close to your body and the barbell will glide up your shins.
  24. When the barbell gets up to your knees, drive your hips forward to complete the deadlift.
  25. You will feel as if you are pulling the weight back, dragging the weight up your shins, and pulling the weight back using your back and hip drive.
  26. Stand up tall, but do not arch your back, just stand up straight.
  27. Now push your hips back again and let the weight lower the same way you did the deadlift off the floor.
  28. Do NOT bounce the weight off the floor for another rep. Do not let the barbell fall to the floor like a bomb.
  29. Put the weight down as lightly as possible without creating a ton of noise. A deadlift is a lift of dead weight, not a bounce off the floor.
  30. Old school experts will tell you to bounce the weight off the floor so you can do more reps.
  31. Don’t be that guy or girl or creates noise chaos in the gym by bouncing or dropping your barbell.
  32. Set the weight down and set up again for a deadlift with perfect form from a complete dead weight still position.
  33. If you bounce the weight off the floor, you could end up with lateral epicondylitis, also known as tennis elbow.
  34. Get stronger gradually and with the best deadlift form possible.
  35. Deadlift every day with light weights. 3 sets of 8 repetitions is enough for a great deadlift workout.
  36. For deadlifting every day, you can use 50 to 70 percent of your estimated one rep max deadlift.
  37. Once a week do heavy deadlifts, where your work set is closer to 80 – 90 percent of your estimated one rep max.
  38. For a heavy deadlifting day, you can do 2 sets of 8 reps using 80 – 90 percent of your 1 rep max.
  39. Review these deadlift tips in your mind and imagine yourself getting progressively stronger on your deadlift.

If you violate deadlift tip number 31, don’t be surprised if someone from the gym who is having a bad day does the following:

Related Posts:

How to Deadlift Like a Boss Using the 5 Step Deadlift Setup

26 Remarkable Benefits of Deadlifts to Unleash Your Fitness

10 Simple Deadlift Form Rules to Prevent Lower Back Pain

Deadlifts – The King of all Exercises

What are the best deadlift tips for the King of all exercises? Some will say squats and some will say deadlifts are the king. Because both squats and deadlifts work so many muscles of your body at the same time. No matter which opinion is correct, deadlifts are an amazing tool to help make your body lean and strong.

When I first started deadlifting in June of 2012, I started out with the 45lb bar alone. Gradually I added weight using bumper plates which allow you to keep a proper deadlift height of the barbell as you get stronger. In December of 2012, I was able to do one deadlift of 175lbs after 5 sets of deadlifts. A bigger part of the story is that between June and December of 2012, I took off 75 pounds and 18 inches from my waist.

Deadlift tips to perfect your deadlift form
Deadlift tips to know and remember because deadlifts are a great way to change your body from fat to fit

Now my one rep max deadlift is 205 pounds. Sure, not a big increase in weight, but who cares? I am 61 and in better shape than when I was 55. At 55, I was pushing 275 pounds with high blood pressure, near type 2 diabetes and a 50 inch waist. Yesterday at a physical, my weight is 175 pounds, normal a1c levels and blood pressure of 100/68.

I credit the Ten Rules of the HM FIT Rx formula I have used the past 6 years:

  1. Eat Real Food
  2. Get Good Sleep
  3. Drink Enough Water
  4. Take a Complete Rest at least One Day a Week
  5. Do Deadlifts
  6. Do Squats
  7. Do Pushups and/or Bench Press
  8. Start Moving Every Day – Walk and/or run/do the elliptical/swim/jump rope for at least 30 minutes a day
  9. Think Good Thoughts
  10. Speak the Words that You Want Your Life to Resemble

Deadlift Tips for Breathing

You must take a deep breath before beginning the lifting phase of your deadlift. You want your body to be tight. Wearing a weightlifting belt when the poundage gets heavier is a good deadlift tip. Because the belt will help you create intra-abdominal pressure. And force you to feel how your deep breath makes your body tighter.

Do not exhale while you are standing up. Take a deep breath before your deadlift and leg press against the floor, drive your hips, drag and pull the weight to a standing position. Then you can exhale when you are just about at the top. Breathe normally and lower the weight to the floor. Never drop the weights like the weightlifter above and of course never kick a barbell out of a lifters hands cause you don’t like the noise. The guy who went ballistic was kicked out of the gym as well.

You can do squats and deadlifts on the same day, but you will need a lot of time if you are lifting heavy. Therefore, a good practice is to limit your heavy squats, deadlifts and bench presses to one day a week. For heavy lifts you will need more rest time between sets. But for lighter lifting days, you can minimize your rest between sets to help you get toned and ripped.

Deadlifts have not just been useful physically, and along with squats, I think they have added the most in terms of helping to transform my body from one with zero muscle to at least a little muscle.

But also figuratively, meaning I think one can become not just physically stronger from deadlifting, but emotionally as well.

When you see that you have the ability to keep getting stronger and deal with heavier weights, it can give you more confidence that we can do the same thing with all of the emotional challenges that we all face, be they small or large.

I hope you find these deadlift tips useful to perfect your deadlift and change your body into the physique that you want.

Read more about the remarkable benefits of deadlifts here.

Let’s keep the conversation going, what are your favorite deadlift tips?

17 Heartbreaking Reasons Why Men Suicide After Divorce

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Why Men Suicide After Divorce

Men commit suicide after divorce at a rate 3 – 4 times higher than women, a shocking divorce and suicide statistic.1)https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/ And marital breakdown is a factor.2)The Canadian Mental Health Association “The tipping point for many men is divorce,” says Prof. John Oliffe, a University of B.C. psychology researcher. Professor Oliffe is part of a team fighting male depression and suicide.

“Divorce is a classic factor in suicide because divorced men are at high risk to become isolated.  There are so many examples of good men ending their own lives.”

North American divorced men are eight times more likely to commit suicide than women. Professor AJ Kposowa used data to analyze the effects of marital status on suicide risk.3)Department of Sociology, University of California He found that divorced men were more than twice as likely to commit suicide as married men. And he found that divorced men are almost 10 times more likely to kill themselves than divorced women.4)http://vancouversun.com/news/staff-blogs/men-and-suicide-the-silent-epidemic

The yearly suicide rate for divorced men highlights the urgency of this disaster.

The research of AJ Kposowa reveals that each year, more than 3,600 divorced men — about 10 every day — commit suicide.5)Kposowa AJ. Marital status and suicide in the National Longitudinal Mortality Study. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 2000; 54: 254-261.

Divorce should mean the end of a marriage, not the end of life, for a man, or a woman.

Something is wrong with a divorce process that results in the death of so many men, fathers, husbands, sons and brothers. Why should any man marry knowing that there is clear data that divorce means certain death for so many men? And for every divorced man that commits suicide,  his children are left behind, haunted and traumatized by their father’s death. First, the children have the trauma of their parents divorce. Second, they experience the unimaginable; the permanent loss of their father.

Not to mention the families of the divorcing men who prefer to kill themselves than live. The high rate of suicide among divorced men is an indictment of the flawed legal divorce process. No divorce should end in death, only an amicable separation of the marriage.

We must condemn the legal divorce process which results in the death of 3,600 men every year.

Read the research paper of AJ Kposowa research paper on divorce and suicide here: http://jech.bmj.com/content/57/12/993

Do you wonder why your husband killed himself after divorce?

The purpose of this article is to:

  1. Help prevent men from committing suicide after divorce.
  2. Explain why divorce makes men more suicidal than women.
  3. Serve as a survival guide for men (and those who love them) going through or after a divorce.

The Real Reasons Men Suicide After Divorce more than Women

17 Heartbreaking Reasons Men Suicide After Divorce


suicide after divorce
Divorce and Suicide — Why men suicide after divorce more than women. The Langlois Bridge at Arles with Women Washing Painting by Vincent Van Gogh March 1, 1888

The Wrong Reasons Assumed for Why Men Suicide After Divorce

Some say that men commit suicide after divorce because they do not want to pay child support or alimony. Let’s examine that assumption; is that a believable reason for a man to suicide? A man who has spent most of his waking hours supporting his family. Will such a man decide to take his life now because he cannot bear the thought of providing for his kids?

The answer of course is no.

It is akin to saying that people will commit suicide when their taxes go up. Or because they have to pay higher health care premiums. This smacks of a snarky gender condescension. It is an insult to the men who do commit suicide. To trivialize the act of suicide down to escaping a financial burden, no matter how heavy that weight is.

Some claim men cannot handle the rejection of their wife.

However, divorce from a spouse is a different issue than divorce from your children. The parents are the ones who divorce. No man or woman should suffer divorce from their children. Men do not commit suicide after divorce because they cannot see their ex again.

Men commit suicide after divorce when they no longer have a relationship with their children.

Others say men suicide after divorce, because men need a woman to take care of them. What a ridiculous reason for a man to off himself. Lets see a fuller picture why divorce and suicide is more of an issue for men than women.

Recommended Reading:
How to Find Purpose in Life Despite Estrangement from your Children

1.  The Deadbeat Dad Label

Who is a deadbeat? The father of course. Even if he pays the child support and/or alimony imposed by the court. Why is the father always a deadbeat? Because the child support and alimony payment will always result in less money for his ex and kids. The divided family now has to support two rents or two mortgages, for two households.

His ex and kids are will feel the pain of less money as a result of the divorce.

Access to less money than in the past, leads to open hostility to the father. Even if he pays the exact amount ordered by the court, there is a new false narrative that he does not pay his fair share. Do you think you can escape being accused of deadbeat dad if you are a famous millionaire? Even Brad Pitt cannot escape, what chance does the common man have?

Now Pitt pals are fuming to Page Six of the New York Post that the “Seven” star has in fact been forking over hundreds of thousands a month — and that Jolie is just trying to smear her ex by claiming he’s a “deadbeat dad.”

Take action to protect yourself: Get the book 10 ways to avoid being a deadbeat dad.

2. Alienation and Estrangement from Children

What happens when the mother considers the division of money by the court to be unfair? Or fair but still unsatisfactory? The father almost has no chance of ever having a good relationship with his children again. His status changes from dad to ’deadbeat dad’. The mother will impute that the father can afford more money than the court decided. He is in a losing battle for the heart and minds of his kids.

As a result of this dissatisfaction, the mother influences the children to hate their father for lack of financial support.
 
Whether this influence is intentional or not, the result is alienation or estrangement. Misery is unmet expectations. In this case, misery occurs when the mother expects a larger share in the monthly income. Who is the target of this misery? The father.
 
It is unbearable for a man to feel loathing from his own children.  
 
Especially when he does his best to support them. He also has nowhere else to turn for more financial or emotional support. In this case, a man no longer feels that he has a reason to live. The mental pain of loathing from his own children is enough to send him over the edge. The only option left at this point is to commit suicide, to get relief from this great pain of isolation and derision. The chronic demonization of the father can lead to permanent alienation or estrangement.  
 
Can you imagine how a permanent estrangement from your children would feel? Estrangement between a father and his children is enough to cause clinical depression. 
 
Estrangement from children is the reason why the divorce and suicide risk is so high for men.   
 
The same reason that women are less likely to commit suicide is the same reason that divorced men are more likely to commit suicide. The temporary or permanent estrangement from their children. Do you fear alienation or estrangement from your children?
 
Make the effort to protect yourself and children from divorce poison. Check out this book: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing.
 
Related Natural Treatment for Depression Post:
Top 10 Reasons Why the Deadlift is Superior to Prozac
How to Rebuild Your Life with the Amazing Power of Deadlifts

3. Financial Ruin

A man can end up paying 50 % of his income for child support and alimony, with another 20 or 30% on taxes, and debt from legal fees. If he is poor, he will not feel much difference in his lifestyle. The court does not have much to take from him. And, if he is wealthy, he can hire lawyers who will protect him from the court. He too will not feel much of a difference after divorce.

Divorce will most affect the middle class man. He is in a financial crisis.  
 
There is for example the refusal of the court to allow for any economic downturns. If his business has a difficult year, the child support and alimony payment has no immediate sliding scale. As a result, he is subject to monthly threats of arrest and jail by the child support agencies. Forget about retirement in style.  
 
In the old days, he dreamed of himself relaxing on the beach or in a second home.  
 
Now, while sitting in his one room apartment, he knows that one room might be as good as it gets. After ten, twenty or more years of working and saving, he now has to start all over again.
 
Suicide becomes a more attractive option than sitting and stewing for the rest of his life. Especially when he knows that he might end up homeless on the streets. There is also the threat of losing his professional license if he is not able to pay the child support.   
 
In contrast to the enforcement of child support, the court will not enforce visitation.

4. Criminalization of a Law Abiding Citizen

Men report feeling as if the judge or opposing attorney in divorce court treat them like criminals. But his job, which the divorce court holds with high regard, treats him like a human being. This creates cognitive dissonance and the mental stress of living in conflicting realities. At his job, where the court wants him to remain successful to provide child support, he is not held in contempt .  

In fact, he might be held in high esteem with a title and responsibility.  

The divorce court on the other hand treats a man, a provider, a father, like a criminal. This ravaging of a mans’ self esteem, is another reason why the risk of divorce and suicide is so high for men.

5. Losing the Entire Structure of Family Life and Home

Yesterday, he had his wife and children around him. Today he lives alone, without his family, especially without his children. Before his divorce, he lived in a decent home, and in a good neighborhood. But now, he finds himself in a garage, or an apartment, or in his friends or mothers basement, or living out of his car. And he will soon have to return the car because he cannot afford to pay for the lease.

He realizes that he no longer has a home.  
 
On top of that, he no longer has the funds to pay for his new small living quarters. Wherever they may be. This all contributes to a precipitous loss of self-esteem.

6. The ’Dangerous’ Libel

Men are vulnerable to character assassination by the court and their ex. A common tactic of the opposing divorce lawyer is to persuade the judge that a father who loves his children, is dangerous. Or depressed. Fear is a great persuader. If the judge believes there is a credible fear that the father is dangerous, he will lose his relationship with his kids.

All it takes is for the opposing side to accuse him of being dangerous.

Even if the accusation is false, it is difficult to prove it false. Because it is now a he said / she said argument. And the judge will decide in favor of protecting the children from a ’dangerous father’.

7. Needing a Supervisor

Needing a supervisor to see your own children is a huge humiliation. Imagine if you can no longer be alone with your children. This further cements the idea in your children’s minds that you are dangerous. As a result, their fear grows and they no longer relish the idea of being in your company. Not only do you have to see you kids with a supervisor, you are also the one who has to pay for the time of the supervisor.

Imagine this disgrace.

8. Loss of Total Identity

Men after divorce are usually the ones who lose more than their marriage. Besides the marriage, he also loses his children, friends and family who may now have become distant. As a result, he no longer recognizes his life.

How do men after divorce feel about their life?

They feel cut out of their own family portrait. As if they no longer exist or never existed, because the family they helped to create, is gone.

9. Shock

Men often do not see the signs that their relationship is in trouble. By the time their wife decides to start divorce proceedings, it is too late. Unfortunately for men, they are not great mind readers. Unless their wife communicates that there are problems in their marriage. It is not enough to say that he should have known there is a problem from the signs.

As a result, his wife knows that she is over and done with the marriage. Sometimes years before her husband ever had a clue.

When she pulls the trigger and serves him with divorce papers, he goes into shock. And she does not, because she has been planning the divorce for months, or even years. The best way to deliver a message is to say it, especially when it comes to dissolving your entire family. Not by giving hints or signs and expecting the other party to be aware.  
 
Some say that 75 – 80 percent of the time, the husband has no clue that the divorce is already in process.
 
When he is not prepared for divorce papers, that shock alone can send him into a tailspin of depression. His ex might have thought that ambushing him with divorce papers in his driveway to humiliate him in front of his kids, or at the office to embarrass him at work, was a wonderful idea.  
 
But in the end, if he suicides due to the shock, she only hurts her own children.

10. The Loss of Reality

Which brings us to the point of non existence. A man after divorce, is more likely to feel as if he has lost all touch with reality. For his ex, she remains in the marital home, and she remains with the children. She is not treated like a pariah by the child support agency, the court or court appointed guardians.

Her reality is not too different from her life before divorce.

Other than the fact that her ex is no longer in the home. But, for him, his life is upside down. Suicide becomes a much more attractive option than constant degradation.

11. Disgrace Kills, Not Divorce

The court does not decide divorce cases overnight. The divorce process can take years.

First comes the delivery of the divorce action to appear at the opposing lawyer’s office or to appear in court. Imagine you receive a subpoena on your front lawn in front of your kids or neighbors. Or in your office in front of your coworkers and boss.

You will experience a mountain of disgrace.

Once your office and co workers are aware of the divorce proceedings, a cloud will hang over your head. Instead of working, you will prepare net worth statements. You will try to keep up with lawyer fees, and juggle court dates and your job. Your work will suffer.

You will write, answer and edit divorce papers written by yourself, or if you can afford, your lawyer.
 
Every day in the divorce process and after is another day of disgrace.

12. A Catastrophic Year or More

The divorce process can take one to two years, sometimes longer. If he is not able to keep focus on his job, he runs the risk of losing his employment. Imagine you lose your children, marriage, home, friends, neighbors and career, in the same year. This explains the connection of divorce and suicide.

These are the factors that lead to depression for a father:
  • Separation or worse, estrangement from his children, as well as sensing the rejection of his children.  
  • The demonization by his ex, the court and the child support enforcement agency.  
  • The loss of money, home, car, career, neighbors, friends, and community.  
These all lead to depression. Severe and chronic depression is a clear suicide risk.

13. Loss of Love and Affection

Your ex-wife still has the love and affection of her children and how they need her.  The children have their own trauma and have already lost their father.  He is gone from their physical space and is a deadbeat in their heads.  Even when he is complying with the court.   All the father feels is that everyone is angry at him for not providing enough money.  Even when he gives as ordered by the court, the expectation is that he should be giving more. 

He only feels that his family wants money and nothing more from him.  He is nothing more than an ATM machine.  There is no love or affection.  This loss of love and affection is another prime reason for the divorce and suicide risk for men.

14. No Support

A man is less likely to have the emotional and friend support that a woman has.  Especially if he has been working in a career during his marriage.   A woman is more likely to have developed emotional bonds outside of her job with friends.   A man is more likely to focus on his work.  When the divorce hits, he is only left with work and no more emotional support from his family.

Now, after work, instead of going to a home, he is more likely to go to his new post-divorce living quarter and stew over what went wrong.  As a result, the sense of isolation for a man is intense after divorce.  This severe sense of isolation is another trigger for men to commit suicide after divorce.

15. Negative Side Effects of Antidepressants

When women prepare for divorce, one strategy they are advised to use by friends or lawyers, is to get her husband on antidepressants. They suggest and sometimes insist that their husband take medications for ’your own good’, or to ’take off the edge’.

This is a big mistake.

Once you are on antidepressants, you are now assumed to be ’flawed’ and someone to fear. The greatest persuader is fear of danger. And a man on antidepressants becomes a frightful character in the eyes of the law. Now that you are on meds, the judge assesses that you might be dangerous. Now, the judge will rule to order visitation with a supervisor.  

This starts the ball rolling to estrangement from your own children.  
 
Women push antidepressants to help them get an advantage in court and do not think about the catastrophic consequences for their husband’s or children’s physical and mental health. The sad reality is that the judge will see a devoted father as dangerous to his children. All the judge sees is that the dad is using antidepressants and is now a danger to his children and himself.  
 
Once you are on antidepressants, you face a new danger to your mental and physical health.  
 
Antidepressants do have side effects that double the risk of suicide, which is why most antidepressants come with warning labels that they could cause suicidal ideation or suicide. If he does not suicide, he still faces the onslaught of slowed movement and night sweats.
 
Along with other side effects like insomnia, loss of feeling in extremities, nightmares and general malaise.
 
Recommended Reading:
Antidepressants DOUBLE your Risk of Suicidal Ideation

16. No Future

Some men after divorce see no future.  His wife still has a life and family, the children, and/or friends.  He sees a life of struggling to pay the bills, avoiding jail,  and with no emotional feedback.  And worse, no relationship with his kids.

What is the point of living?

He sees no path to living a good life.  The mental pain of knowing that he has no path to a good life leads a man think that the best course of action is to end his life now.  Why?  Because he feels that the key aspects of his life, which gave his life meaning, are over.  So, since it is already over, he might as well end it.

17. From Dad to ’Visitor’ or ’Him’

How do you recreate your life, after ten, twenty or thirty years of marriage dissolves? The wife’s life is much the same, the father’s is in upheaval. The losses of marriage, children, income, home, security, stability, and pride. They all happen in a short amount of time.

This causes enough shock and humiliation to the father to contemplate suicide.

She is still the mother and the father becomes a ’visitor’.No one likes to lose their status. The demotion from father to visitor or ‘him’ is a catastrophic humiliation.

Why Men Do Not Want to Marry
 
Here is where the go solo movement for men picked up steam. Single men see the catastrophe that divorced men experience. Why would they want to marry and risk the same? You cannot blame a young man today if he swears off marriage and children.  
 
Especially the children of divorce.
 
Considering the state of divorce court in the country and the real bias of the court system. And even more, especially the children of a father who did commit suicide after divorce. They see a clear picture of what happens to a man after marriage, children and divorce.
 
And it is not a pretty picture.
 
The long term consequences of divorce go beyond family disunity and estrangement. If a father after divorce ended up in depression, job loss and/or suicide, do you think his kids would want to marry? The chances are that his children do not want to take such a risk, especially his sons.

How Divorce and Suicide Courts Slaughter Men

Do you think characterizing the  ’legal’ divorce court process as a ’slaughter house’ of men is an exaggeration? Do you think it is too over the top? Have you read the story of Jeremy A. from Canada who committed suicide after divorce court screwed him? The divorce court and his exes caused the suicide of Jeremy A.

They committed against Jeremy many of the egregious 17 reasons divorce and suicide is a fatal brew for men noted above.

The ’legal’ actions they took against Jeremy are a disgrace. This divorce court, judge, plaintiff’s attorney and his exes all have blood on their hands. Just because the legal system weaponized divorce courts against men is not a reason to use them.

Every wife must be aware that if she unleashes the manhating divorce court against her husband, it can result in his suicide.

Next time you hear an ex wife wonder why her husband committed suicide after divorce, have her read this excerpt of what Lawrence Killium of Meninist reported in March of 2017:

In today’s courts system, divorce courts are clearly stacked against men. One only has to look at the historical data to see that women are unfairly granted child custody about 85% of the time, and receive over 94% of all child support dollars paid. These battles can be vicious, full of conflict, and can rage for years. 

In Canada, such a struggle has unfortunately ended in tragedy. Jeramey A. (the media isn’t using his full name since some of his children share it) was involved in a legal battle with between an ex-wife with two daughters, a former fiancée who has a young son, and his present wife.

According to Canadian news outlet, The National Post:

[Jeramey] unsuccessfully had applied for an order varying the amount of child and spousal support he had to pay his former wife, a total of $6,500 a month. She in turn was seeking he be found in contempt of another order and fined an additional $10,000; the judge adjourned those issues.

Another woman, with whom he’d been briefly engaged and fathered a son after his divorce, was seeking retroactive and ongoing child support for their son.

Both those applications were successful, bringing his total child and spousal debt to about $8,000 a month, but then, in fairness, that woman is herself a family court lawyer.

Early on the morning of March 9, Jeramey apparently rigged his truck so that when he drove down an embankment at the end of Page Road in Abbotsford, B.C., his neck would break.

Jeremy’s Suicide Note

In a scrawled and bloody suicide note found in the truck, he wrote:

“FAMILY LAW NEEDS REFORM. I recommend mandated lower costs and less reward for false claims of abuse. Parental Alienation is devastating. I loved my children as much as a husband and father could. I see no light. Recommend; an authority consistent during high conflict separations: It is exploited in family law.

“Sorry Dad and Angie. I’m very sorry.”

This is devastating. This is a man that, because of how the law is structured, felt like he had nowhere else to go. He ended up declaring bankruptcy, and paid more than $330,000 in legal fees, according to his wife.

He was chased by family management agencies, and even had agencies moving to take away his driver’s licence and passport. His ex wife was even supposed to get his pension.

On top of that, he hadn’t been able to see his daughters for almost a year, they had been completely separated from him.

Angela knew he was in despair, but weeps that she didn’t realize the depths of it. “I just didn’t know,” she sobbed on the phone. “If he could have seen those girls, he could have handled all this, the National Post reported.

“His bank accounts were locked, he lost his homes, his vehicle, his business. You emasculate a man and take away his ability to provide — he’s a human being. He has limits,” Angie said.

Hopefully we can learn from this tragedy, and bring the change we need into the court systems that push people to these lengths.

See the full story as reported by Christie Blatchford in the National Post here: http://nationalpost.com/opinion/christie-blatchford-b-c-man-blamed-cruelty-of-family-court-battle-for-driving-him-to-suicide

Why do you think men suicide after divorce more than women?

Now that you know the major reasons men suicide after divorce, learn how to save your own life after divorce or that of a friend or family member. Read starting over after divorce now.

References   [ + ]

1. ↑ https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/
2. ↑ The Canadian Mental Health Association
3. ↑ Department of Sociology, University of California
4. ↑ http://vancouversun.com/news/staff-blogs/men-and-suicide-the-silent-epidemic
5. ↑ Kposowa AJ. Marital status and suicide in the National Longitudinal Mortality Study. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 2000; 54: 254-261.

Starting Over After Divorce

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Starting Over After Divorce

Are you afraid about starting over after divorce? Your fear is understandable because starting over after divorce is a mine filled field. You have many obstacles; financial, relationships, the death of your marriage, tensions with children, family, friends and how to keep your head on straight at work. You no longer live in your marital home and might not even live in your former community.

When you are starting over after divorce, you need to be tough. As strong as possible. Not only do you have your ex against you, but it is likely that your kids are not too happy with you either. And on top of everything, the biased legal system steamrolls your life. You are likely angry, sad and depressed. And you have no clue who to turn to. You are in danger of collapsing from psychological, financial, divorce court and work pressures all at the same time.

If you are in court right now, listen to your lawyer and stop listening to friends/family/coworkers. Everyone thinks they are an expert, but they are not experts at divorce law. You pay your lawyers big bucks. Let them do the worrying for you.

Your job is to stay as healthy as possible, in mind and body.

Now is the time to get even more strict about good health habits. You need to level up your game of thought, speech and action. You are in a dark hell right now. You might not see any light, just like the story of Jeremy L., a divorced father who committed suicide after divorce.

Here is a point that you must remember:

  • There is a future, but it will be different than the past you yearn for.
  • You want to live with your kids, wake them up, put them to bed, watch them grow up.
  • When you accept this scenario is no longer real, you will recover from the assault of the court on your will to live.

You, your ex and your children should all live a better life in the future. However, the divorce court slaughter houses of men need to modify the laws, so that they are fair to both parents. That is in the best interest of the children.

Assisted suicide by the divorce courts is not in the best interest of the children.

There is only so much that a human being can take, and it is time that divorce courts start treating men as human beings who love their children and not as ATM machines. Remember, you are not alone, reach out to contact me any time. Do not become another divorce and suicide statistic.

The 10 Rules for men starting over after divorce are:

1. Stop Grieving and Start Imagining a Bright Future

Excessive grieving can lead to depression. Depression can lead to suicidal ideation or worse, suicide. You need to tell yourself that you have had enough. Find a word, a trigger word, to tell yourself enough. I like the word Zehhu. If you are curious why, read about the nightmare that changed my life.
 
But, use any word that works for you.  
 
Imagine that you are the owner of a field, a vineyard. A hurricane destroys everything you built. Your home, your vineyard, your life. Imagine what you need to do to rebuild your vineyard. Stop sitting in the middle of your field and mourning over your loss. Rebuilding your vineyard is a parallel to  starting over after divorce:
  • Make the Choice to Rebuild Your Vineyard, your Life –Make the decision right now to rebuild your life.
  • Select a Field that is Bright – we need bright thoughts and positive thoughts to rebuild.
  • Work the Field – Start a strength training program of deadlifts, squats, pushups and cardio to strengthen your body and your mind.
  • Seed the Field – Plant good thoughts, expectations and images of the future.
  • Water the Field – Eat real food daily, nourish your body and mind.
  • Growing the vineyard – Take care of yourself and adjust to any obstacles.
  • Harvest the vineyard – Be grateful for what you have right now.
  • Winnowing – Focus on the best and not the worst.
  • Pressing the wine – Get the most out of what you have right now, like squeezing the juice from the best grapes.
  • Drinking the Wine – we should appreciate as often as possible the gift of life, with our family and friends.
Recommended Reading: 
How to Manage Depression

2. Action is Better than Keeping a Journal

Especially if you have lost contact with your children after divorce. Seeing your kid once a week or twice a month is not contact. It is easy to feel the loss of relationship even after a few days of separation.  
 
Consider this interview of Joshua Coleman Ph.D., by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW on February 5, 2015:
Terry: Why is estrangement so common in divorced families?
 
Dr. Joshua Coleman: Divorce greatly increases the risk of estrangement.  It often creates a fundamental reshaping of alliances and can place parents at risk for greater distance from their children. Whether it’s a grey divorce or a breakup when the child is young, it often causes a child to see parents as winners and losers.  
 
Second, it can create the opportunity for parental alienation where one parent poisons the child against the other parent.  Children, especially when they are young, are vulnerable after divorce.
 
Next, divorce can also bring new people into a child’s life (new sibling, half sibling, step-parent) and they may feel they have to compete for love, attention, or resources.  Finally, in our culture, divorce can cause a child to see their parent as an individual with their own attributes and liabilities—and less of a family unit that they’re part of.7)
Staying busy building a new life is better than writing in a journal about your old life. Make the choice to be productive again. No matter how many days, weeks, months or years that you mourn, the results will be the same.  You will be sad, depressed and lose the greatest asset of your life, which is time.  
 
Take action now, today, get started immediately.
 
If you do want to write in a journal, start with your life now. Begin with the present. Begin with creating your new life. Write how you are taking your power back by taking care of yourself, getting fitter, getting stronger and living better. Use your words and affirmations to paint the portrait, the landscape of the new life you are building for yourself. Do not drown yourself in the sorrows of what you have lost. Stay positive, always!

3. Stay Positive and Do Not Lean on your Guy Friends

If you think you will hear sympathy from your guy friends, as we say in Brooklyn, ’forget about it’. Instead, they will say ’we told you not to get married’. They will let you have it for being a traditional idiot. We told you not to ruin your life.
 
We warned you not to get married in a culture which has it out for you if you are a man.  
 
Of course, you never believed you would end up in court. And that you will never live with your kids again. They will blame you for not listening to their advice to never get married. Most guys know that if they get married, a divorce court will destroy their life.  
 
What great reward in marriage is worth that risk?  
 
You cannot expect your friends to be supportive. They will scold you for getting married. Then, they will use your ruined life as the reason that they will never get married. So, don’t expect to be feeling better by leaning on your friends. You will feel like garbage.  
 
Instead, lean on yourself.
 
Think brighter thoughts. Start to think thoughts of calm, strength, success, rebuilding, a bright life. You have to be your own rock. Stay strong, imagine strength and think good thoughts.  
 
Stop repeating your ‘story’ to your friends. You will get no sympathy.
  
4. Start Strength Training, not Antidepressants
 
You have to start working your field. Meaning, that you have to start building up your strength and testosterone. Do the hardest compound movements that you can.  
Get as strong and fit as possible. Yes, even if you are over 50.  Physical strength helps you bear the mental burdens of divorce and loss. You have to get stronger to handle the stresses of divorce and isolation.  
 
Antidepressants should never be your first course of action.  
 
If your doctor recommends them, respond that you want to try an alternative approach to treat depression. This new approach is to lift weights to lift your mood. Try it out for a month.  
 
If deadlifts, squats and pushups do not help you to feel better, then you can always go on antidepressants.  
 
But, be aware that antidepressants come with a high cost, and that does not mean financial. Antidepressants themselves have many serious negative side effects. Many antidepressants come with a warning label that they can cause suicidal behavior. In 2005, the Food and Drug Administration sent out a health advisory:  
 
Warning – All antidepressants increase suicidal behavior in adults.
 
Health care professionals know that antidepressants increase the risk of suicidal ideation. Unfortunately, our culture ignores the suicidal effects of antidepressants. Depressed people run to their doctor who gives them antidepressants as the solution. And, if a person harms him or herself, we can chalk it up to suicide.  
 
Without any consideration if the antidepressants caused the suicidal behavior.  
 
Such as in the case of Robin Williams. The assumption was that he committed suicide. How about the fact that he was on antidepressants? We do not even hear in the media which antidepressants he used.
 
For a deeper analysis of the Robin Williams tragedy, see here. 
 
Let’s preserve his good reputation. Antidepressants increase suicidal behavior. That is a fact that our pill popping society wants to ignore. For sure, the antidepressant manufacturers do not want you to think about.
 
So, in some cases, antidepressants might help an individual. But, in all cases, why not try weight lifting for depression?  Or any other exercise before going on antidepressants?  
 
What do you have to lose, besides fat and depression?  

As far as deadlift/strength training gear goes, weightlifting requires a small area and a minimum amount of equipment available in most gyms that have free weights. Or you can set up a home gym in a small area of your basement or garage with these tools for weightlifting and fitness.

Stop looking to antidepressants to fight depression, unless you have no other choice.
 
 

5. Think Good and it will be Good.

This is a real tough one. When you are starting over after divorce, you must change your thoughts to change your life. You must plant new thoughts, good thoughts to build a new life. Whatever you put in the soil will grow.  So, be careful to not put seeds of weeds into the soil.  It will be a challenge to think good thoughts. But, do your best.  Think thoughts of success, happiness, good relationships, health, wealth and peace.  Keep your mind flooded with as much bright thoughts as possible.
 
Recommended Reading:
Tracht Gut Vet Zein Gut Revolution

6. Eat Healthy Foods

Now is not the time to go crazy on junk food. Now is the time to eat the best food possible to rebuild your body and mind. A healthier body will  help you overcome the stress of divorce. Healthier foods, means real food daily. Exclude processed food as much as possible. Eat more real food daily to fuel your body and mind transformation. If you need to lose weight, How to Lose 20 pounds in 3 Months Using 5 Simple Steps will put you on the fast path to sustainable weight loss.
 
Related:
Eat Real Food and Conquer Your Own Mount Kilimanjaro
Just Eat Real Food — The Secret Sauce for Weight Loss
Real Food Daily

7. Be Grateful for what you Have

It is easy to focus on what you do not have. You can obsess on everything that you have lost. Especially if you have lost contact with your children. You have to think and be aware of the blessings in your life. You don’t have to tell anyone else. Be aware for yourself and start with what you think is most trivial. For example, waking up, be grateful that you woke up today.  
 
And take it from there.
 
Even after divorce, there is an enormous list of phenomena to be grateful for. Be happy your kid(s) are healthy and safe and think thoughts of good relationship with them. Do not make the mistake of turning every event into a catastrophe.

8. Do Not Start Dating Again

Dating again can lead to a relationship, and you are not ready. If you want to hang out, fine, but be safe, and stay casual. You do not need to see the inside of a court again. And for sure, do not discuss marriage again with your friends. They will throw you out knowing what you went through. Now is not the time.
 
Get yourself stronger, work on all your faults, because you probably have a few, like all of us. Think of where you went wrong in your relationship. What could you have done better? Did you treat your wife like the Queen she wanted to be? Did you honor, cherish and love her like you know she wanted? Yes, she has her own issues, but don’t focus on her field, her issues. Focus on yours. Because it is only in your field that you have any power.
 
You have the power to change yourself and that is where you have to focus before embarking on a new relationship. Fix as many bad habits as you can. When you go through a trauma like divorce, you want to come out a better person, right? So strive to be the best man possible. When you are starting over after divorce, you cannot press rewind and pretend like the years of your marriage and divorce did not happen. 

9. Hold onto Your Job

It is easy to lose focus on your job. Both during and when you are starting your life over after divorce. You have to do everything possible to hold onto your job. Do not speak about your divorce at work. When you go into your office, be a different person.  
 
Stay focused on your responsibilities at the office. It is bad enough that you lose your identity as a husband and father. You lose your identity as a homeowner and neighbor. Do you want to lose your work identity too?  
 
You better not.

10. Stay Connected to Yourself

It is easy to lose yourself. To lose perspective of who you are. You have to be good to yourself. The better you are to yourself, the better you can be for others. Do your best to stay connected with your children  
 
They also suffer from the divorce.  
 
Besides, they must endure the hurtful narratives that they hear about their parents. If they estrange you, remember that it is not their fault. Do not be angry with your children. Your ex and the court fed them a poisonous diet of endless character assassination.
 
Be there for them as much as possible.
 
Everything you expect others to do for you, make sure you do that for yourself. Think about your welfare, check up on yourself, look out for yourself, focus on yourself. Because you might not hear from anyone else for a long time, so you have to take care of yourself.

Starting Over After Divorce Conclusion

If your marriage is in trouble:
 
Never take antidepressants. Especially at the suggestion of your wife. Because if she serves you with divorce papers, you better not be on medication. If she does not serve you with divorce papers, then get to the gym, start working out and eating better. Start taking care of yourself and get healthier so you can improve your marriage.
 
Think of everything that you are grateful for in your life. 
 
Yes, not only for your health and your kids, but start thinking positive thoughts about your wife. Treat your wife like a queen. She deserves your respect, love and honor. You still have a chance to turn your marriage around. You must find gratitude in your heart for your wife to turn your marriage around. Once you do, your marriage can transform from a living hell to paradise.
 
Your attitude of gratitude will sweeten your life, as hard as it might be to believe.
 
Try it out, it is not too hard, just say ’Thank You’, to yourself, your wife, your kids, mother nature, or your higher power. Divorce and suicide no longer have to be a couple. Let go of the guilt and shame, get the attitude of gratitude. Think good and it will be good. Think good of yourself, your wife, your kids, your family and friends.
 
However, if you are already in the process of divorce or post divorce, you need to take control of your life now, where you can. There will be much that is not under your control, so you need to raise your game. A good beginning is to adhere to the 10 Rules for Men Starting Over After Divorce shared here to improve your life. You can rebuild your life starting today.  
 
If you are in crisis right now, call the national suicide prevention hotline. Please leave your comments/insights about the divorce and suicide risk of for men. If we can help one man or father to reconsider suicide, is it not worth your words? So, say what you can to help prevent divorce and suicide of men after divorce. Men have few places to go for support or advice. What are your recommendations for starting over after divorce?
 
For more details, read and implement my book for starting over after divorce:
Click on the link or image below

starting over after divorce 
10 Lessons for Men Starting Over After Divorce

Dreams and Nightmares Can Change Your Life for the Better

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dreams and nightmares keanu reeves in the matrix credit riverofgrues.com
Keanu Reeves in The Matrix – Image Copyright Warner Bros. Credit: riverofgrues.com

Can Dreams or Nightmares Change Your Life?

Dreams and nightmares are an ordinary part of life. And for most of us, scary dreams and nightmares can haunt us and not feel too great. If you are interested in dreams and nightmares, it could be because you cannot forget this one dream or nightmare that is haunting you.

A nightmare can be very disturbing, sometimes debilitating, especially if you no longer want to sleep. I experienced such dreams and nightmares for almost 10 years straight. They terrified me and left me not wanting to sleep, cause I never wanted to sleep and dream it again. I would never imagine that a nightmare could have a positive result, but it did. Here is the rest of the story.

Just One of the Negative Side Effects of Antidepressant Drugs

I had been on a slew of antidepressants for depression. Throughout my life, the reasons for depression have varied. Except for one.

There was always a new reason.

I had my share of cocktails made up out of Zoloft, Prozac, Effexor and more. I experienced side effects such as massive sweating at night to losing feeling in my lower legs. I also suffered from insomnia, I am not sure if that was caused by the meds or by nightmares I had. From the year 2000 on, I had the same recurring nightmare. 

I was walking around in a house, I’d see my children that I wanted to speak with, and they did not see me, no matter how much I waved to them. In every dream, I had no way to speak, I could not speak, I do not know why. At the end of the dream I’d see a man standing in front of me in an elevator. A futuristic feature of this elevator is that it could move up, down and sideways, like the rook on a chessboard. But, I could not tell whether it was moving at all, it felt like it was not moving, but I was not sure. The man in front of me was wearing some type of uniform and appeared to be the person who operated the elevator.

Despite the modern capabilities of this elevator, it seemed very ancient, like one of those factory type elevators with gates that always play a prominent role in James Bond and Mission Impossible movies.

The elevator operator was a bit rotund, older than me; grayer hair and I wanted to ask him to get the elevator moving. Sometimes I thought that the man in the elevator was me years in the future. But, before I could ask him, he seemed to sense that I wanted to speak with him, so he turned around.

The Image from those Dreams and Nightmares that Never Left Me

That was the point that I would wake up screaming because when the elevator operator, who resembled me in the future, turned around, he had no mouth!

I woke up sweating, screaming and flailing my arms, but none of the words were coherent. I struggled in this dream to speak but I could not move my mouth at all. In every dream like this for close to a decade, I just sounded like Frankenstein when he realized that he was set on fire by the local mob. After this dream, I would sink deeper into depression.

A intense sadness that I could not shake.

The Same Dream With A Different Ending

About 10 years after after I had the first dream of the man in the elevator with no mouth, I had it again, in 2010. This was not new, because I had this nightmare many times during those years. However, this time was different. The frightening ending was no different, he turned around, and sure enough, he had no mouth. But, this time, when I woke up, I shot up to a sitting position on my bed as soon as I awoke and I was violently screaming a word that sounded like ‘zehhu’.

I was coming out of the same nightmare that I had seen for ten years, except this time, I woke and sat up at the same time and I screamed the word ‘zehhu’ at the top of my lungs, as loud as I ever screamed before.

I immediately knew that it meant enough! no more! I have had enough! I have to stop descending deeper and deeper into depression! The best visual I can think of to describe how I felt coming out of that nightmare is Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes dramatically protesting “NO” to the shock of the animal handler who was abusing him.

Everyone in the movie and the audience is stunned.

He is an ape and should not have the power of speech. So, when he screamed NO, it is just shocking! Similarly, I never had the power of speech in those elevator man with no mouth dreams and nightmares. But, this time, after almost a decade, I woke up to a sitting position screaming ‘zehhu’.

What that meant to me was that I cannot keep descending into depression. I was already fighting suicidal ideation. With more depression, it is not a big leap to really wanting to act on suicidal thoughts. There has to be a boundary. I think crying out zehhu was a primal scream, a subconscious message to myself, enough! Stop the intense sadness, do something to take care of myself, anything, start being productive.

No matter how many mistakes I have made, how much longer do I keep beating myself up over them?

Can I Say ‘Zehhu’ in Real Life and Act On It?

I never really thought about saying enough. In depression, I feel like I have been imprisoned and have no appeal and no exit out of my jail cell. Did I do something that deserves life imprisonment and isolation in depression? I felt that I did not hold the key for me to get out of jail. My memories, my losses, my failures, my dna, and anything else that contributes to depression, they held the key.

But this dream of Zehhu made me feel that I do have a key.

I have a say in this matter. Depression is not a physical prison, it is a mental prison. Perhaps, this zehhu is a key, and I started to forcefully tell myself zehhu, I have had enough, I want to be productive, I want to be heard, I want to speak. Once I started shouting zehhu out loud and to myself, that was enough to stop the downward spiral. I had been sliding down deeper for years.

I understood that if I did not stop, I had no boundary stopping me from going over a virtual or real cliff.

Dreams and Nightmares Can Change Your Life 

This one word Zehhu helped me cross the bridge from depression to life. This one dream helped me climb out of the grip of suicidal ideation and helped me focus on being more productive. I think if I had used any word, in any language that meant to me means ‘That’s it, I have had enough! the results could be the same. I am still a work in progress, but these dreams and nightmares did change my life, for the better.

Shortly after that Zehhu dream in 2010, I started to take more action to get fitter and get stronger. That led me to the vineyards of Wolffer’s Estate in Long Island, NY, where I found the answer to my multiyear question of how to deal with depression without meds. Because the antidepressants were killing me. The lessons that I learned from nature that day helped me lose 75 pounds in 6 months, and create a ‘prescription’ to improve mental and physical health with a ‘fitness prescription’ and not drugs. First recover your health, and then build up your muscles, your strength, which is why the prescription is called: HM FIT RX™.

The formula is:

Eat Real Food

Get Good Sleep

Drink Enough Water

Take a Complete Rest at least One Day a Week

Do Deadlifts

Do Squats

Do Pushups and/or Bench Press

Start Moving Every Day – Walk and/or run/do the elliptical/swim/jump rope for at least 30 minutes a day

Think Good Thoughts

Speak the Words that You Want Your Life to Resemble

For 10 years I interpreted my elevator man with no mouth dreams and nightmares to the negative. That resulted in negative thoughts, self-flagellation and more depression. I got lucky because that one dream in 2010 when I woke up screaming Zehhu was the shock I needed to see the positive, that I could speak and I could declare to myself to be more productive and improve myself, my situation.

Dreams and nightmares can change your life. But, you must make sure to interpret all your dreams and nightmares to the positive, because how your dreams and nightmares turn out will follow your interpretation. Never interpret dreams and nightmares to the negative, only to the positive. Are you having the same dreams and nightmares and wondering what they mean? Please comment and share.

8 Ways SIGECAPS Treats Depression Better Than Antidepressant Drugs

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SIGECAPS is an acronym for a series of questions that doctors use to diagnose depression. But, that is the old sigecaps. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety or need a natural mood booster, you need to know about the New SIGECAPS. Unless you’re a medical student/practitioner, you probably never heard of SIGECAPS ( which is also written as sig.e.caps or sig e caps ).

Physicians once used the abbreviation “sig” to mean directions on prescriptions. Energy capsules or “e” caps was the original name of antidepressants according to the University of Nebraska Medical Center.1)https://www.unmc.edu/media/intmed/geriatrics/reynolds/pearlcards/depression/sigecaps.htm. This is how SIGECAPS and depression got linked together. The old sigecaps mnemonic to diagnose depression is in use for close to a hundred years.

Do you think it is time for a change?

Going forward, let’s use the New SIGECAPS as the primary way to help depression. There is evidence that psychiatric drugs kill more than half a million people every year. And the National Institute of Health reports that at any given time there are 14 million people who suffer from treatment-resistant depression. The New SIGECAPS is the best solution to naturally boost your mood.

The New SIGECAPS is the best depression treatment that you probably never heard of. Sig e caps is so powerful that it treats depression better than antidepressant drugs. Shouldn’t you know how to help yourself or a loved one out of depression if your doctor’s only solution is drugs?

How many more people have to commit suicide before society looks for new depression treatment solutions?

Antidepressants are not the solution for depression. If someone has been using antidepressants successfully, that is wonderful. But if you have used antidepressants for a decade or two, and are still depressed, you owe it to yourself to try a new way. Success leaves clues and if you are still depressed, stop using what is not working and try the New SIGECAPS!

How Can You Get Off of Antidepressants Naturally?

If you are struggling with depression, you must have alternative options to antidepressants. The negative side effects of antidepressants are too catastrophic. Antidepressants can lead to broken relationships, disability, estrangements, career loss and even suicide.

If you have not yet started antidepressants, try the new SIGECAPS depression solutions described in this article for a 90 day trial first. These solutions are FREE and will not cost you two hundred dollars a month or worse, your life. Plus, the only side effects of the new SIGECAPS is a fitter and stronger you.

Antidepressants can destroy your life, especially if you have treatment-resistant depression. When you start taking antidepressants, it is hit or miss. Most people I know taking antidepressants for the last 20 years have seen no improvement. They are still anxious, depressed, dissatisfied, anxious, isolated and vulnerable to the egregious side effects of antidepressants.

In April of 2018, a divorced father who I knew for over a decade shockingly committed suicide.

He had everything to live for. But he was highly medicated and was on antidepressants for over 30 years. When will we as a society say we have had enough of the depression solutions that do not work? We owe it to ourselves, families and children to try new ways, right?

SIG E CAPS Treats Depression Better Than Antidepressant Drugs
8 SIGECAPS Depression Solutions That Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You

The New SIGECAPS

S stands for Sleep.

The old sigecaps question to screen for depression: Have you noticed an increase of sleep during the day or a decrease of sleep at night? Excessive daytime sleep and/or insufficient nighttime sleep are both indicators of depression.

Therefore, your first new habit to fight depression is to improve your sleep.

A study found that 87 percent of depression patients who resolved their insomnia had major improvements to their depression, with symptoms disappearing after eight weeks, whether the person took an antidepressant or a placebo pill.

The study’s lead author told the New York Times:2

“The way this story is unfolding, I think we need to start augmenting standard depression treatment with therapy focused on insomnia.”

Source Credit: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/12/19/sleep-therapy-depression-treatment.aspx

Before using Zoloft which has side effects of insomnia, first improve your diet. Increase real food like vegetables, fruits, whole grains and healthy fats in your diet.

Real food floods your body with real nutrition.

This can help calm down your insomnia.

Feeding your body nutrients needed can stop the cravings for junk food that keep you awake.

Read more of the surprising benefits of real food here.

Work on improving your sleep.

Make a sleep schedule for yourself.

Commit to getting to sleep around 10 or 11 in the evening.

Do not watch TV in bed or surf the web.

Make your room as dark as possible.

When you lie down, pay attention to the sound of your breath.

Inhale and exhale.

Think good thoughts, everything you are grateful for, and imagine a better future in all areas.

Shoot to get a sleep of seven to eight hours.

Watch this Video on The Importance of Sleep and How it Affects your Brain:

I Stands for Interest Loss

The I of sigecaps stands for loss of interest in activities.

The old sigecaps question is:

Have you experienced a loss of interest in activities that you once found enjoyable?

A loss of interest in such activities is a sign of depression.

The new sigecaps habit:

I stands for new interest and investment in yourself.

Getting interested in something productive is the second step to fighting depression.

You need to take up a new or old interest, something that gets you out of your house and out of your head.

A new interest does not mean trying all the flavors of Ben & Jerry vanilla based ice creams.

Junk food is not entertainment and will never help you relieve depression.

In fact, more junk food means more depression, as you watch the scale numbers climb.

The new interest to take is in you, yourself.

Yes, you need to invest in yourself.

Stop investing in the stocks of Nabisco and Doritos.

What are you getting out of processed foods, other than fatter?

And the more fat you get, the more depressed you will be.

Start investing in yourself.

You are worth it, no?

A fuel oriented nutrition plan qualifies as a new interest.

At least you will be feeding your body the best nutrition possible.

All these great nutrients will not only flood your body, but your brain as well.

Find a new interest, such as; music, language, photography, and most important, exercise.

Why is exercise so critical?

Instead of Effexor which can exacerbate your loss of interest in life, first try exercise.

When I took Effexor and other antidepressants, I felt tranquilized.

My bosses no longer thought I had any interest in doing my job and I suffered the consequences.

The reason for exercise is to create momentum.

To fall into depression, some downward momentum is necessary.

This is why people refer to those who are in depression, as having ‘fallen’ into the rut of depression.

The best way to get momentum is to start moving.

A walk of thirty minutes to an hour a day is a great way to start.

It is important to establish a baseline of physical exercise.

This creates the momentum necessary to get out of the pit of depression.

Once you start to feel better, there is a better chance that you will regain interest in life.

Before using antidepressants, do squats, deadlifts and pushups to augment your self-confidence.

Weightlifting to lift your self esteem is a much better solution than antidepressants.

G Stands for Guilt

The G of old sigecaps is for the following question:

Are you feeling guilty or unworthy?

Do you have low self esteem and sense of worthlessness?

Your third new sigecaps habit is that G now stands for give up the guilt.

Non-stop guilt is a destructive force.

Guilt is not action.

When you are guilty, you are not helping anyone, including yourself.

Yes, guilt is an excellent tool to prevent bad behavior.

But, if you already committed the bad behavior, the guilt now is not going to rectify what you did.

To rectify what you did, you need to have sincere remorse and vow to never do that again.

If you need to apologize to someone, then do it.

When a restitution of money is necessary, do it.

If they do not accept your apology, or forgive you, the matter is out of your hands.

Excessive guilt eats up your insides.

There is no end in sight when you lock yourself in the prison of guilt.

Let yourself out of prison.

Or have another friend, family member or mentor tell you that they approve of you.

Of course, you must forgive, love and approve of yourself first.

11 affirmations to Dissolve Guilt

  • I release the need to blame anyone, including myself. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness we have.
  • Even though I struggle with guilt, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.
  • I am OK and it is safe for me to forgive myself.
  • Today, I choose to accept myself as I am and I choose to compliment myself and give myself credit for the good things I do.
  • I am learning and improving everyday, I am patient with myself, I love myself and accept myself as I am.
  • The best path is to release any self-blame or guilt, I don’t need those feelings anymore, I can let them go.
  • I release and let go of all self-criticism.
  • I forgive myself for being so hard on myself.
  • You deserve the Best always.
  • Abundance and joy is my right. I am good enough, always been good enough, and I do my best.
  • I completely love and approve of myself as I am.

Source Credit: Based on the Teachings of Louise Hay

How to Change Your Life

E Stands for Energy

The E stands for energy and is the fourth question of the old sigecaps screening test.

Do you feel fatigued?

Do you feel a lack of energy?

A common symptom of depression is fatigue, and a lack of energy.

Some people characterize the lack of energy as feeling “burnt out”.

They all boil down to the same problem, lack of energy.

Antidepressants are the last thing that will help with energy.

The best course of action to increase your energy is to improve your nutrition.

Feed yourself high quality food, the best of the best.

Make sure that you have vegetables with most meals, at least twice a day, if not more.

Go for complex carbohydrates like brown rice, sweet potato and oatmeal.

Instead of higher processed foods like wheat bread.

Identify Food Sensitivities

Before using drugs which have known side effects, identify potential food sensitivities. Wheat, eggs, peanuts and dairy can affect some individuals.

Wheat consumption can cause symptoms of depression in some individuals.

See how the Negative Properties of Wheat can affect you.

First, remove all the toxic foods and habits from your life. And only then think of taking medications if you are still suffer from depression.

It goes without saying that you need to lay off of the junk food.

An excellent diet is going to help increase your energy more than antidepressants.  Avoiding junk foods can boost your energy levels more than any antidepressant.

See how Ultra-Processed Junk Food can affect people.  Obesity is no help for any person who wants to increase their energy levels.

Like the ‘soup nazi’ said: “No More Snicker Bars for You!”

A Simple Meal Plan for Energy

  1. Drink a tall glass of water with a real lemon wedge upon waking up.
  2. Have half a grapefruit before or with breakfast.
  3. Bowl of oatmeal, hot or cold, with water, 1% organic milk or cashew milk.
  4. Add berries and peanut butter (if you like) to the oatmeal.
  5. Boil a couple of eggs or sautee a vegetable omelete.
  6. For lunch, have some brown rice, black beans, veggies and turkey (optional).
  7. Have a fruit between breakfast and lunch and/or lunch and dinner if you are hungry.
  8. For Dinner, sweet potato, salmon and a vegetable, like bok choy, cauliflower or broccoli.
  9. If you are still hungry after all this food, have an apple.
  10. Establish regular meal times to train your body when to expect fuel every day. This will prevent body distress that can lead to depression.

A Simple Workout Plan for Energy

  1. Walk every day for 30 minutes.
  2. Do some type of weight training or bodyweight training 3 days a week.
  3. For example, pushups on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
  4. Add squats, jumping jacks and situps to the pushups if possible.
  5. Or, add weight training with dumbbells or barbells.
  6. On Tuesday and Thursday, relax, except for deadlifts.
  7. Rest on the weekend.
  8. Keep track of the number of repetitions and weight of each exercise.
  9. Do 5 sets of at least 5 repetitions or 3 sets of 10 reps.
  10. Rest between sets for one minute.  The higher intensity produces more testosterone and endorphins which help to relieve depression.
  11. When you can do between 6 and 12 repetitions, you can increase the weight.
  12. Keep your weight training to no more than 45 minutes a day.
  13. Or you might end up getting depressed from being in the gym too long.

Recommended Reading:

Did you ever think of sugar as a drug?

C Stands for Concentration

The C represents concentration.  Do you have difficulty concentrating?  Reduced concentration is a hallmark of depression. Especially together with other depression symptoms.

C stands for Concentration and Cardio

What can you do to improve your concentration?  All the steps that you are implementing till now are going to help.

Better sleep, a new interest in yourself and investing in you. As well as dissolving your guilt, and a healthy meal and workout plan.

These previous steps will fuel and relieve your mind.

The fifth New sigecaps Habit is to increase your concentration.  Several other suggestions are to:

  • Focus on what it is that you must get done.
  • Limit distractions like radio or tv.
  • Work in a quiet atmosphere.
  • Break up your task into manageable pieces.
  • Establish a routine and stick to your calendar.
  • Start a cardio program to ensure that you get 30 minutes of daily exercise.  This will help you think clearer, get healthier and fitter and help you fight depression. All at the same time.

A Stands for Appetite

The A in the old sigecaps acronym stands for appetite.  Have you lost your appetite?

Have you lost enjoyment in food, or, are you bingeing on food?  A loss of appetite or in some cases a major increase in appetite is another of the classic signs of depression.

A is for Appetite

Follow the simple meal and workout plan above.  This can help regulate your appetite.

Do not punish your body for the anxieties of your mind.  Think of food as fuel for your body and eat when you are hungry.

Stop snacking on junk food and focus on high quality food.

The workout plan will help to keep you moving.  Building muscle and exercise is going to help your appetite.

Proper Nutrition to Prevent Agitation and Sulking

How important is good nutrition for depression?

Let’s examine the function of antidepressants.

Antidepressants increase serotonin levels. They block certain receptors from absorbing too much serotonin. This increases the availability of serotonin to your brain cells.

As a result, antidepressants are SSRIs, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Because antidepressants prevent receptors from absorbing too much serotonin. Common SSRIs include:

  • Prozac
  • Celexa
  • Luvox
  • Zoloft
  • Paxil
  • Lexapro

Antidepressants are not the only way to increase serotonin in your body.  Another way of getting more serotonin into your system is through food.

Particularly food that contains tryptophan.

In order for your body to manufacture serotonin, it needs a sufficient supply of the natural amino acid, tryptophan.

Tryptophan helps normalize levels of serotonin and other neurotransmitters. This can help with both depression and increased aggression or slowness of movement.

Source Credit:http://www.lifeextension.com/magazine/2013/5/better-brain-chemistry-with-tryptophan/page-01

Which Foods are High in the Amino Acid Tryptophan?

  • Eggs. The protein in eggs can significantly boost your blood plasma levels of tryptophan, according to recent research.
  • Cheese. Cheese is another great source of tryptophan.
  • Pineapples.
  • Tofu.
  • Salmon. Have you ever noticed being in a better mood after good quality salmon? Now you know why.
  • Nuts and Seeds.
  • Turkey.

Source Credit: http://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sleep/foods-that-could-boost-your-serotonin

  • Traditional milk products, yogurt and soy milk
  • Calf’s liver, chicken breast, turkey breast
  • Halibut, cod, tuna, salmon
  • Cheddar processed cheese, cottage cheese, tofu, gruyere cheese
  • Apples, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, avocados, pineapple, peaches
  • Spinach, mustard greens, asparagus, eggplant, winter squash, and green peas
  • Kelp, broccoli, onions, tomatoes, and cabbage
  • Cauliflower, mushrooms, cucumbers, potatoes
  • Walnuts, peanuts, cashews, pistachios, chestnuts, almonds
  • Ground flax, sesame, pumpkin, fenugreek, sunflower seeds (roasted)
  • Mung bean, soybeans, kidney beans, lima beans, chickpeas
  • Brown rice, red rice, barley, corn, oats

Source Credit: http://www.med-health.net/Foods-High-In-Tryptophan.html

P Stands for Psychomotor

P is for psychomotor agitation or retardation.  Are you feeling more anxious and cannot sit still?  Or, are you more lethargic and very slow in your movements?

Increased agitation or much slower movements are signs of depression.

S Stands for Suicidal Ideation

The S of the old sigecaps stands for suicidal ideation.  Are you preoccupied with thoughts of death?  Do you have a plan to commit suicide?

Suicidal ideation is the most urgent sign of depression and requires immediate treatment.

S Stands for Strength Training to Prevent Suicidal Ideation

Antidepressants carry a warning label that their use might lead to suicidal ideation.  You have as good a chance to prevent suicidal ideation with the new s.i.g.e.c.a.p.s. As you do with antidepressants.  And the only side effect is getting leaner and stronger.

But, once you are at the stage of suicidal ideation, you need immediate help.

Before calling the suicide hotline, there is one more suggestion, strength training.

Strength training?  For depression?

Yes.

Besides cardio, start pushing yourself to get stronger in body.

Why?

How can strength training help depression?

Mens Sana in Corpore Sano

Strong body, Strong mind.  Because improving the fitness of your body is going to help improve the fitness of your mind. Instead of meds which can only slow your movements, focus on getting leaner and stronger.
 
Start a strength training program. This Fit Rx training program to fight depression, especially suicidal ideation should consist of:
 
Bench Press
Walking/Running/Elliptical
And last but not least – Eat Real Food
 
Recommended Reading:
How to Deal with Depression – Improve Your Mental Health & Fitness

Are You Sick and Tired of Using Antidepressants?

The most popular drugs to treat depression are Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil and Celexa.

The most common side effects of these antidepressants include anxiety, restlessness, and agitation.

Insomnia and sexual dysfunction are also negative side effects.

Wellbutrin is often prescribed for patients who also want to stop smoking.

But the side effects for Wellbutrin include insomnia, dry mouth, dizziness, and constipation.

The negative side effects of Effexor include include sweating, nausea, and constipation.

As well as anorexia, sexual dysfunction, and dream disturbance.¹

Do these antidepressants sound like a great idea to you?

Pop a pill so you can rid yourself of your negative thoughts or compulsive behaviors?

Plus you have to dig deep into your pocket for the privilege of ruining your life.

Prozac and Sarafem, at a dose of 10 mg or 20 mg a day, cost about $133 a month.

Celexa, at a dose of 20 mg, costs about $94 a month.

Wellbutrin, at dosages of 75 to 100 mg a day, ranges in cost from $108 to $177 a month.

Besides cost, some people experience catastrophic side effects in the following infographic.

sigecaps acronym and questions can help prevent antidepressant side effects
Image Credit: http://healthcentral.com

90 percent of people who take antidepressants have at least one side effect.

While most people can tolerate them, an estimated 20 percent to 30 percent stop taking the medication because they find the side effects intolerable.

The October Consumer Reports survey found that 40 percent of people who took antidepressants complained of adverse sexual side effects.

The FDA now requires antidepressants to carry warning labels indicating an increased risk of suicidal thinking in children and teens who take the drugs.

This warning came after Glaxosmithkline, the maker of paroxetine (Paxil), failed to make public three studies it conducted in 2003 showing an increase in suicidal thinking in children who took the drug compared to those taking dummy (placebo) pills.2)http://consumersunion.org/news/generic-antidepressants-can-save-consumers-1200-a-year/

Antidepressants are not the solution.

It is Time to Use the New SIGECAPS

If you want to get off antidepressants naturally, (or never start them in the first place), then you need a new understanding of the sig e caps acronym.

In this post, you will discover how to use the new sigecaps to crush your depression.

Without resorting to antidepressants.

This is the information I wish I had eighteen years ago before starting on Zoloft, Effexor, Neurontin, Risperdal, Prozac among others based on doctor’s recommendations.

Before using antidepressants, first try the new sigecaps for at least 90 days. Every new sigecaps habit is a powerful way to help relieve your depression. Change your lifestyle, change your daily habits, improve the food that you eat.
 
Start to workout. Get fitter. Get stronger. Live Better. See if you do not feel better in a few months. For example, by following the new sigecaps, you can even lose 20 to 50 pounds of weight in 3 to 6 months. Weight loss will help you gain confidence and start to exercise more.
 
Exercise will help boost your mood, especially when you start doing deadlifts and squats.
 
The book Crossing the Bridge from Depression to Life serves as a model for the New SIGECAPS.

The New SIGECAPS Conclusion

We are a society that uses prescriptions of pills to cure disease.  There is no question that modern medicine can save lives.  And, there is no question that psychiatric drugs kill. The point is not to say that there is no place for medications when dealing with depression. The point is to explore alternative options to antidepressants.  Antidepressants must be a last resort because of their potential catastrophic side effects.
 
The new sigecaps can help reduce depression and suicidal ideation. If not, you must take immediate action.  Either calling the suicide hotline or check into a hospital for observation. I’d appreciate it if you could take a minute to share your thoughts. What do you think are the most powerful natural ways to help relieve depression?

I’d love it if you also came back later and let me know what your results are from using the new sigecaps.

Did the new sigecaps plan help to relieve your depression, or that of a friend or loved one? Just leave me a comment below.

 ¹http://www.sh.lsuhsc.edu/fammed/outpatientmanual/depression.htm

References   [ + ]

1. ↑ https://www.unmc.edu/media/intmed/geriatrics/reynolds/pearlcards/depression/sigecaps.htm
2. ↑ http://consumersunion.org/news/generic-antidepressants-can-save-consumers-1200-a-year/
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