Can Dreams or Nightmares Change Your Life?
Dreams and nightmares are an ordinary part of life. And for most of us, scary dreams and nightmares can haunt us and not feel too great. If you are interested in dreams and nightmares, it could be because you cannot forget this one dream or nightmare that is haunting you.
A nightmare can be very disturbing, sometimes debilitating, especially if you no longer want to sleep. I experienced such dreams and nightmares for almost 10 years straight. They terrified me and left me not wanting to sleep, cause I never wanted to sleep and dream it again. I would never imagine that a nightmare could have a positive result, but it did. Here is the rest of the story.
Just One of the Negative Side Effects of Antidepressant Drugs
I had been on a slew of antidepressants for depression. Throughout my life, the reasons for depression have varied. Except for one.
There was always a new reason.
I had my share of cocktails made up out of Zoloft, Prozac, Effexor and more. I experienced side effects such as massive sweating at night to losing feeling in my lower legs. I also suffered from insomnia, I am not sure if that was caused by the meds or by nightmares I had. From the year 2000 on, I had the same recurring nightmare.
I was walking around in a house, I’d see my children that I wanted to speak with, and they did not see me, no matter how much I waved to them. In every dream, I had no way to speak, I could not speak, I do not know why. At the end of the dream I’d see a man standing in front of me in an elevator. A futuristic feature of this elevator is that it could move up, down and sideways, like the rook on a chessboard. But, I could not tell whether it was moving at all, it felt like it was not moving, but I was not sure. The man in front of me was wearing some type of uniform and appeared to be the person who operated the elevator.
Despite the modern capabilities of this elevator, it seemed very ancient, like one of those factory type elevators with gates that always play a prominent role in James Bond and Mission Impossible movies.
The elevator operator was a bit rotund, older than me; grayer hair and I wanted to ask him to get the elevator moving. Sometimes I thought that the man in the elevator was me years in the future. But, before I could ask him, he seemed to sense that I wanted to speak with him, so he turned around.
The Image from those Dreams and Nightmares that Never Left Me
That was the point that I would wake up screaming because when the elevator operator, who resembled me in the future, turned around, he had no mouth!
I woke up sweating, screaming and flailing my arms, but none of the words were coherent. I struggled in this dream to speak but I could not move my mouth at all. In every dream like this for close to a decade, I just sounded like Frankenstein when he realized that he was set on fire by the local mob. After this dream, I would sink deeper into depression.
A intense sadness that I could not shake.
The Same Dream With A Different Ending
About 10 years after after I had the first dream of the man in the elevator with no mouth, I had it again, in 2010. This was not new, because I had this nightmare many times during those years. However, this time was different. The frightening ending was no different, he turned around, and sure enough, he had no mouth. But, this time, when I woke up, I shot up to a sitting position on my bed as soon as I awoke and I was violently screaming a word that sounded like ‘zehhu’.
I was coming out of the same nightmare that I had seen for ten years, except this time, I woke and sat up at the same time and I screamed the word ‘zehhu’ at the top of my lungs, as loud as I ever screamed before.
I immediately knew that it meant enough! no more! I have had enough! I have to stop descending deeper and deeper into depression! The best visual I can think of to describe how I felt coming out of that nightmare is Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes dramatically protesting “NO” to the shock of the animal handler who was abusing him.
Everyone in the movie and the audience is stunned.
He is an ape and should not have the power of speech. So, when he screamed NO, it is just shocking! Similarly, I never had the power of speech in those elevator man with no mouth dreams and nightmares. But, this time, after almost a decade, I woke up to a sitting position screaming ‘zehhu’.
What that meant to me was that I cannot keep descending into depression. I was already fighting suicidal ideation. With more depression, it is not a big leap to really wanting to act on suicidal thoughts. There has to be a boundary. I think crying out zehhu was a primal scream, a subconscious message to myself, enough! Stop the intense sadness, do something to take care of myself, anything, start being productive.
No matter how many mistakes I have made, how much longer do I keep beating myself up over them?
Can I Say ‘Zehhu’ in Real Life and Act On It?
I never really thought about saying enough. In depression, I feel like I have been imprisoned and have no appeal and no exit out of my jail cell. Did I do something that deserves life imprisonment and isolation in depression? I felt that I did not hold the key for me to get out of jail. My memories, my losses, my failures, my dna, and anything else that contributes to depression, they held the key.
But this dream of Zehhu made me feel that I do have a key.
I have a say in this matter. Depression is not a physical prison, it is a mental prison. Perhaps, this zehhu is a key, and I started to forcefully tell myself zehhu, I have had enough, I want to be productive, I want to be heard, I want to speak. Once I started shouting zehhu out loud and to myself, that was enough to stop the downward spiral. I had been sliding down deeper for years.
I understood that if I did not stop, I had no boundary stopping me from going over a virtual or real cliff.
Dreams and Nightmares Can Change Your Life
This one word Zehhu helped me cross the bridge from depression to life. This one dream helped me climb out of the grip of suicidal ideation and helped me focus on being more productive. I think if I had used any word, in any language that meant to me means ‘That’s it, I have had enough! the results could be the same. I am still a work in progress, but these dreams and nightmares did change my life, for the better.
Shortly after that Zehhu dream in 2010, I started to take more action to get fitter and get stronger. That led me to the vineyards of Wolffer's Estate in Long Island, NY, where I found the answer to my multiyear question of how to deal with depression without meds. Because the antidepressants were killing me. The lessons that I learned from nature that day helped me lose 75 pounds in 6 months, and create a ‘prescription' to improve mental and physical health with a ‘fitness prescription' and not drugs. First recover your health, and then build up your muscles, your strength, which is why the prescription is called: HM FIT RX™.
The formula is:
Take a Complete Rest at least One Day a Week
Do Pushups and/or Bench Press
Start Moving Every Day – Walk and/or run/do the elliptical/swim/jump rope for at least 30 minutes a day
Speak the Words that You Want Your Life to Resemble
For 10 years I interpreted my elevator man with no mouth dreams and nightmares to the negative. That resulted in negative thoughts, self-flagellation and more depression. I got lucky because that one dream in 2010 when I woke up screaming Zehhu was the shock I needed to see the positive, that I could speak and I could declare to myself to be more productive and improve myself, my situation.
Dreams and nightmares can change your life. But, you must make sure to interpret all your dreams and nightmares to the positive, because how your dreams and nightmares turn out will follow your interpretation. Never interpret dreams and nightmares to the negative, only to the positive. Are you having the same dreams and nightmares and wondering what they mean? Please comment and share.
Rich is a Certified Personal Trainer-AAPT, an